The Apple

While waiting in line at the WPI orientation barbecue, a woman standing next to us remarked how the Young One and I look like twins. We smiled politely and when she went ahead, we just looked at each other and shook our heads. Other than height and color of our eyes, we don't look a thing alike. The Young One has fair skin, a sprinkling of cinnamon freckles across her nose, and auburn hair. My skin tone is swarthy Italian. My hair is dark brown bordering on black with a fair amount of silver, and I don't have freckles across the bridge of my nose. The Young One is a carbon copy of Himself. The Young One and I do enjoy some of the same activities. Art, movies, electronics, sense of humor

"You don't look a thing like me." We laughed.

"No, but I have your soul."

"Poor you."

"No, poor you. It means that Grandma's curse that you would have one just like you came true."

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

OMG!

OMG! Auntie Rose called this morning, and I missed the call. The Witch didn't leave a voicemail.

The Sound

As a dutiful Janet, I've been filling out forms for Dad. Not sure if he can't be bothered filling them out, can't see to fill them out, or has a hard time understanding them.

I filled out a form and brought it back for his signature. Showed him where I needed his John Hancock and handed him a pen.

"Isn't there a way you could sign my name so we didn't have to do this?" Dad whined

"Yeah, there is."

"How?"

"The only way my signature would be accepted as yours, would be for you to give me power of attorney."

I heard crickets.

Eggs

Dad has been complaining about having to do the cooking. Woman's work. Dad is torqued Ma hasn't been cooking meals. He lamented to me over the phone.

"I've had to do the cooking this week."

I could picture him raising the back of his wrist to his forehead. Martyr pose.

"She wasn't too happy with what I cooked for her tonight."

"What did you make?"

"The same thing I gave her last night. Potatoes and eggs."

"She doesn't like potatoes and eggs."

"I know."

I thought I detected a smirk in his tone, but I guess you have to break a few eggs.

Go Fish

Himself took Dad to the Mahket. They were nearly finished going through the list when Dad announced he need "little fishies"

"Little fishies?" Himself asked puzzled. "Do you mean tuna?"

"No, I hate tuna."

"The goldfish crackers?" Dad answered "no" to a string of possibilities.

"No." Dad left in search of little fishies.

Himself picked up the few remaining items and then waited for Dad. Five minutes, ten minutes. Just about the time Himself was going to send out the posse, Dad rounded the corner.

He placed two dozen eggs in the cart.

"But you already have eggs."

"Oh."

Himself didn't pursue the matter. Just wanted to get the heck out of the mahket.

Jury's still out as to what little fishies are.

Road Trip

It seemed like such a good idea. Or so I thought when The Nephew mentioned he had an old television he thought Grandpa would like. Dad's television bought the farm several months ago. This sounded like a perfect idea. Until last Sunday.

The Brother called late in the afternoon. "We brought the television, but can't find the converter box. The Weebles said Himself took it. I asked where the cables were. They said Himself took it. So I'm calling Himself to find out where these things are."

"Himself didn't take anything."

"Then where the hell did they put them?"

Himself and I both laughed. Himself suggested The Brother look in the basement just at the bottom of the stairs. Dad has a table, and he piles junk on it. If not there, then up in the attic on top of Ma's hope chest.

A short time later, Dad called. He was very excited with the visit and the television. He would finally be able to watch 60 Minutes and the news.

After Dad hung up, The Brother called to tell me he had hooked everything. I jokingly told him, I'd have Dad call him when Dad couldn't remember how to turn the TV on, or which remote to use. (There's a remote for the television that needs to be set to channel 03, and the remote for the digital converter box which is used to change the channels. The Weebles don't have cable television.)

Dad called later. Dad was having trouble figuring out how to turn the tv on, and how to change the channels. I told him, Himself would stop by Monday afternoon.

 And here is thee-mail exchange I had with The Brother at the beginning of the week:

Monday

Me:  Hey!

  Himself is taking a tv service call for you. Dad called to say he can't change the channel. I told him about the arrow buttons on the digital box, but he claims 1. the buttons aren't there and 2. no one showed him. I'm surprised he didn't tell me 3.Himself took them. I'm sure after Himself leaves there'll be another call on how to change the channels. Btw, he's very happy you and Your Young One stopped by. He loves watching the news and said the picture is terrific. Points to you for making an old man happy

The Brother: 

Nice

1. I don't make house calls (there was an emoticon of a little black sheep which cracked me up)

2. We showed him what to do and made him practice, he passed before we left and found the buttons while we were there

3 You better blog this "he can't see the buttons because his glasses are wired up and the bifocals don't sit straight  (there was an emoticon of a goofy guy with glasses)

Tuesday:

Me:

Hey!


  I'm sorry you gave Dad the tv. He's called 4 times today because he doesn't know how to turn the tv on.(crazy eyes) They already lost the channel changer. Himself was there yesterday. One of them unplugged the television. Though I'm surprised they didn't tell Himself you did it. (winky)
  oh well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions (devil emoticon)
  e're taking bets as to when the next phone call will be. Time slots still open if you want to place a bet.

The Brother:

The say you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

guess it's right.

My guess is MA unplugged the set out of spite although we showed both how the set worked.

I guess for them watching tv is a curse for you and me.

Her comments was why they were getting my junk, any way if it keeps up I can go pick up the set and bring it to my office.

So Himself has had to stop at the Weebles every day after school last week. There was a hunt to find the channel changers, plug the television back in, and to go over all the buttons, how to turn things on and off and how to change channels. Himself even wrote directions put everything in a folder by the television.

Saturday, Dad called all frustrated. He couldn't remember how to turn the set on.

"I need Himself to show me and to write down what I need to do. 

"Himself did."

"No, he didn't."

"Yes, he did. He put the instructions in a folder with the channel changers."

"Where did he put the folder?"

"By the television."

Dad went on to whine how frustrated the new fangled gadgets make him feel. (Make him feel!) 

Like they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.