Lottery

We pulled into the service station.

"While I pump gas, you go in and buy two lottery tickets, "Himself said to me as he handed me two dollars.

Yes, occasionally we worship at the altar of Auntie Rose just like Ma. Unlike Ma, we play the legitimate lottery sanctioned by the State. Himself only plays the lottery when the jackpot is in the hundreds of millions. The jackpot was $250 million.

"Play our numbers." He handed me an official lottery form. "And ask for a quick pick."

I came out of the gas station convenience story holding the two holy white squares. Money can't buy happiness, but it certainly would come in handy. The girls' college education paid for in full, home equity loan and credit card paid off, a row of deciduous, no a row of flowering crab apple trees bought and planted along the Leaf Lady's side line. On the ride home, I chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Himself asked.

"If you win, Ma is going to be so ticked. You realize she would expect you to take care of her for the rest of her life."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she's been talking about moving lately."

"Yes, I'll see that she's moved into a new home."

Mark My Words

The phone rang early this morning. Prissy.

"What's going on over there?"

"Over where?"

"Can't you see? At your neighbor's."

Prissy meant the Leaf Lady. I rolled my eyes. Prissy must be related to Gladys Kravitz.

"I don't watch what's going on over there."

"What are they doing?"

I realized this would go on for quite some time if I didn't answer to her satisfaction. I opened up the door and from the front porch I saw a tree service truck.

"She must be having the trees that came down during the storm taken care of."

"Can't she wait until Spring?"

I almost suggested to Prissy to call The Leafy Lady to ask her as The Leafy Lady does not confide in me.

We swapped some Leaf bashing. I had moved back to the kitchen and from the kitchen window I saw the tree service guy snow blowing a path. Yup, the Leaf Lady is definitely reta...missing a few tines on her rake. Twenty degrees Fahrenheit outside with a foot of snow on the ground and she's having trees removed.

Prissy hung up and I went about my business.

Around lunch time, I looked out the window to see what progress the tree guys had made to remove the pine branches. They were not working on the dead pine. I shouldn't have been surprised to see the tree guy sawing the limbs off of a viable, young tree. Sad. Another prefectly good tree murdered. By tree standards this tree is young not more than fifty years old.

On the way to pick up The Young One as I was getting into my car, the tree service guy gave me a cheery wave. I hope he's making good scratch on this job.

When we got home, a second tree had been delimbed and a third tree was tagged. These were not dead or dying trees. These were not trees that needed to be euthanized. These were vigorous trees.

This one woman is slowly denuding the forest that surrounds us. And with all tree life removed from her property, the next time she whines all my leaves are in her yard, I'll say "You're absolutely right!"

Mark my words. Some day the Ents will be coming to seek justice for the trees The Leafy Lady has murdered. It will be a terrible sight. I hope I live to see the day.

Needled

A couple of weeks after the December ice storm, we had some warmer temperatures and rain. Most of the snow was gone. I asked Lambie if her husband could come and remove the tree that had fallen in The Leaf Lady's yard. Since they heat their home by woodstove, they were welcome to the wood.

It snowed the night before they were supposed to come. I should have realized a little snow wouldn't keep these hardy Yankees away. Yankees as in those who can trace their lineage back to the Pilgrims that came over on the Mayflower.

Though the tree was large by my standards, it was not large by Lambie's DH. He didn't need help hauling logs to his truck. Lambie and I had a nice visit, a cup of tea and lovely pumpkin muffins Lambie made while her DH worked.

From time to time we watched his progress. He cut the tree and removed the lengths to my property, where he cut the wood into 4ft. logs. Then he carted the logs to his truck. In less than an hour he was done.

I received an email a day or two later from Lambie. DH wanted me to tell you, he was very careful not to harm a needle of The Leaf Lady's pine tree that had fallen in her yard.

The Leaf Lady

Another character in my pantheon of weebles is the woman who lives next door known as The Leaf Lady. When we first moved here, she spent nearly every part of her waking day raking leaves. I had taken The Eldest then 3 yrs old trick or treating to The Leaf Lady's house. This was in 1991 and the day after the No Name Hurricane (aka Perfect Storm). The Leaf Lady was furious with me because all my leaves had blown into her yard. She knew they were my leaves because I had use gold thread to embroider our monogram on all the leaves. After heated words, I left her house with The Eldest in tow. The Leaf Lady has not spoken to me since that time. The Eldest is now 20 yrs. old. The Leaf Lady shuns me. If she is outside and I go across the street to get the mail, she turns her back to me so she won't see me. Sometimes she scrambles so quickly into her home, I'm surprised she hasn't broken an ankle.

Sunday, Himself and I returned to our home to inspect the aftermath of an ice storm. A tree had fallen down in the corner of the backyard into The Leaf Lady's yard. We discovered to our great joy we had electricity. The day before with the help of the generator, Himself had gotten the sump pump and a couple of other smaller pumps up and running, happily gurgling out the five inches of water from the basement. The water had come up to the furnace and we were concerned the furnace would need to be replaced. While waiting for a call from our oil man, we were cleaning out things that had gotten damaged in the flood. Note to self: Even though items are stored in plastic bins and boxes, plastic bins and boxes float and upend in water. Add bricks to weight things down.

We had cleaned as much as we could. Hadn't heard from the oil man who was probably out straight. We were heading back to Himself's brother's home. Himself had gone out to start up the car. I heard his name called by The Leaf Lady. Her voice is loud, and irksome. (Yes, she irks me) She would have made a great fishmonger's wife. From the front porch, I could see Himself speaking to The Leaf Lady and her husband. I fought the urge to go shrieking out the front door like a banshee. A few minutes later Himself came in.

"What the hell did she want? I suppose she was griping about the tree in the backyard."

"Yes. I explained to them we knew about it, would take care of it, but were dealing with a wet basement. They were vey nice. The conversation was quite pleasant."

Himself is too kind. I would have questioned her mental faculties in tongues. She didn't so much as ask if we were alright, needed anything. Just had to control the situation and point out the tree had fallen. OPD at its finest.

Parts of the state were devastated with downed trees and power lines. Many towns still have no electricity and crews are working round the clock clearing downed trees and reconnecting wires. Does she honestly think we're going to call a tree service company to come out and take care of a tree that is lying in her back half acre? The tree is not on her walkway, not through her house, on her car or in an area where people need access and egress. No one will be available this week. Next week is Christmas and the following week New Year's. If she wants the tree removed quickly, perhaps I should call Jason to come take care of her.