Tuesday, July 28, 2009

So How Do You...

I had heated leftovers in the microwave for my lunch. Two small rolls would make a yummy addition, so I popped those on a paper plate and set the microwave for 12 seconds. I turned to get utensils from the drawer and was anticipating a nice quiet lunch in the sunroom.

Suddenly, I became aware of the smell of smoke. My rolls! I pounced on the open door button of the microwave which would open the door and stop the microwave. Smoke roiled out of the microwave chamber and filled the kitchen. The smoke wasn't that pleasant, blue, haze that fills the kitchen when frying bacon. This smoke had the acrid tang of charcoal.

I could barely make out the 2 rolls in the microwave. The paper plate began to smolder like a funeral pyre. I slammed the microwave door shut before I set the kitchen on fire. Obviously, I had set the microwave for 12 minutes and not 12 seconds. Only a minute or so of time had gone by. I think. Hard to tell exactly how much time had elapsed since some of the LED lights have burned out on the microwave timer. The countdown just shows lines in patterns instead of numbers. Single lines. Double line. Horizontal parallel lines. The countdown looks like some sort of alien language like Klingon.

I turned on the kitchen fan and the fan in the dining room in hopes of dissipating the smoke before the smoke detector went off. The old smoke detector with its blaring horn blast freaked out the kitty. The new smoke detector has a pleasant female voice who calmly calls out "Fire, fire, fire." Sometimes the smoke detector voice calls out "Supper, supper, supper" as sometimes burning food and supper time coincide. The smoke detector remained mercifully quiet.

The smoke was so thick in the microwave chamber, I couldn't see the little rolls. The fans had done of a good job of clearing the smoke though wisps of smoke were leaking from the microwave. I took my lunch to the sun room and waited until I could open the microwave door without causing a backdraft and immolating myself.

A half hour later, I was able to retrieve two lumps of pure carbon and dumped them in the trash. No delicious rolls and no diamonds for The Little Princess. When Himself called later in the day, I related my sad tale.

"You are such a Weeble!" he laughed.

"I know!"

The rolls are gone, the mess cleaned up. So how do you get that burned smell out of the microwave? I carefully heated up a bowl of water and lemon juice. That didn't work. I ripped open a pouch of activated charcoal used to absorb odors in the kitty litter. That didn't work. Any advice?


Tabitha Bird said...

Advise? Um..sorry..just picking myself up off the floor where I was rolling around laughing. Okay, better now. Ah, no...I don't think I have any advise. But thank you for a good laugh. How is your poor kitty?

Georgiana said...

Oh no!!! Hilarious, except the loss of a good roll really isn't anything to laugh at.

I recommend baking soda....

Alesia Zorn Calligraphy said...

DH did this once, trying to warm a giant chocolate chip cookie. He *swears* he only put it in for 30 seconds - at 11:30 at night. Our smoke detector is hooked up to Brinks - no beeping, no voice saying "fire" - it's an alarm straight off the Enterprise's bridge. It's a long story that ends with Wilson at the curb telling the fire fighters that everything was under control. Oi!

Nutterone said...

No advice... I'm still chuckling at her weeblness...

Happy Birthday!

Erica Vetsch said...

You could always burn some fishsticks in there. I guarantee you won't smell burnt dinner rolls anymore.

We know from bitter experience, you just have to wait it out to get that burned smell out.

Princesses of the Kitchen, Unite and bring thy burnt offerings!

And Happy Birthday, you Weeble, you!

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