Monday, February 04, 2008

Hold That Line!


I should have realized what was happening. If I had looked at the Wereweeble calendar it would have been instantly apparent. It was not until this morning, Monday morning. Monday morning quarterback. The approach of the New Moon. The full moon we can’t see.

Ma called yesterday morning while Dad was off to church.

“Are you coming through today?”

“No, why?” I did know the reason.

“Well, I thought you’d leave your husband to his football game. I need to get to the store, we have no food.”

Ten cans each of French cut green beans, Regular cut green beans, and corn, not the creamed kind from the last expedition. I think the beets are all gone.

“I told Dad I was coming on Tuesday. I would take him to vote, and then we could go to Market Basket.”

“He didn’t tell me you were coming!”

“That’s not my fault.”

“I know, but we are out of everything.”

“I thought the checks didn’t come in until Monday.”

“The bank lets us have them on Saturday if the third is on a Sunday.”

The fans in the stands were chanting, Hold that line! Hold that line!

“Well, the game doesn’t begin until tonight. Today, would not be the day to go shopping with the place being jammed with people buying last minute stuff for their Super Bowl Parties. Besides, I won’t take you to Market Basket on a weekend. The place is ridiculous during the week. No way will I go on a Saturday or Sunday.”

Sunday night. The Young One and I were watching “Ghost Hunt”, an anime cartoon a bit like the “X-Files”. We were engrossed in the weirdness when the phone rang. At a quarter to nine, I didn’t even have to look at the caller ID to know who was calling.

“How’s things going?”


A deep sigh. “The same.”


Dad’s conversation meandered around the usual topics. Being marginalized, the cost of fuel oil, paying bills, paying Auntie Rose and on and on. "


"She wants to go shopping.”


There was a subtle pause indicating Ma wanted to shopping on Monday.

“I told you I was coming on Tuesday.”

A flag was dropped. Dad was waiting to see if the Ref was going to call a penalty and move the team back to the Check Out Line of Monday.

The fans were screaming Hold that Line! Hold that Line!

“I’ll take you voting on Tuesday, and then we’ll go bless the meat. I’m not going tomorrow when every old person and their social security check will be out in force shopping.”

The line held.

In analyzing the game, I realized I was double teamed. First Ma tried and failed. She figured I wouldn’t refuse Dad so she had him call.

OPD is a game of control. The game is won by having a strong defense. Hold that Line!

2 comments:

Erica Vetsch said...

D-Fense! D-Fense! Way to go, girl. This round goes to the D-Fense!

Nutterone said...

Dang... Just call you Eli... You're getting good at this.